One year ago, I made the choice to give up my corporate life and follow a dream. The timing of the decision was a bit of an impulse move, but the dream was not. I had been planning and thinking about it for years – even if it was more of a five-year plan than a five month one. Regardless of timing, going for it required a leap of faith. It required me to believe in myself in a way I never had before. It required me to face every internalized fear about my abilities, my worth, and my value. It also required me to try, and to risk failure. It required all this with no guarantee of success. None.
I began the journey with an abundance of excitement and joy, believing success was inevitable. I was so certain of my path and its outcome. I knew exactly what I wanted to bring to the community. I knew how I would do it and I knew where. I surrounded myself with people who understood and believed in my dream, and who were excited to help make it a reality. We launched with hope, faith, and absolute certainty.
All that planning. All the positive intent. All the loving energy. All the confidence that I was doing it right. And yet, here I am. Relearning that nothing is certain. Relearning that so many things are truly beyond our control, despite what the obsessive planner and preparer in me needed to believe.
Closing the doors on our physical location is bittersweet. In so many ways, it’s a goodbye. A goodbye to my dream as I’d always imagined. A goodbye to a heck of a lot of money – a truth rarely talked about in “polite” conversation. When I walk through the nearly empty space for the final few times, I think about how much has changed in the last year. I’m still me, but not the same me who dove all-in to go for her dream. I’m freshly humbled. By the realities of launching a startup. By the belief that brains plus sheer willpower and planning would equal success. By the constant truth that everything happens exactly as it’s supposed to – even if that feels horrible or makes no sense when living life in the middle of the process.
Now, as I look at my path, I wonder where the next turn will take me. I have finally accepted that I have no idea where the journey will lead. And that’s okay. For now, I know that my dream remains strong and I choose to believe that success is still inevitable.