I sat down today to start writing a hybrid of the “what I’m grateful for this holiday season” and “what I’ve learned this year” blog post. But try as I might, the right words to capture 2019 (and the last decade, since it’s one of those years too) remain elusive because my focus has shifted.

I have always been a big proponent of reflection as a self-care tool and as a path to honor what came before. I remain so. I’m a firm believer in the healing power of looking back to learn, understand, and grow. I know it is critical for peace at a core cellular and spiritual level. That said, overreliance on any tool risks its evolution into a crutch. And I am a woman with no use for crutches.

The fact is, I have learned an unbelievable number of lessons and life truths in the last twelve months. Even more in the last ten years. Truths and lessons that may one day fill a memoir. Someday. But that work is for another time because right now I am exhausted by reflecting and mining my history for insight into who and how I am. Quite honestly, I’m over it.

So, for 2020 – and the next decade – I am not looking back. Instead, I choose to look forward. For me, that means:

Boundaries – I will no longer apologize or hesitate when setting and resetting. I know myself better than anyone, which means I know what is and is not okay for me. Explanations are not owed and will not be given.

Trust – I will trust myself. My gut. My inner voice. My heart. My head. My body. I will trust all of me.

Respect – I will treat myself with the same respect I give to the rest of the world.

Forgiveness – I forgive myself. Always. The power of self-forgiveness is so important that I have it tattooed on my arm in case my soul ever needs a reminder.

Priorities – I will prioritize the people and the experiences that are important to me without apology or rationalization.

Joy – I will actively pursue because life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.

Love – I will accept the love that has always surrounded me, and I will be open to new opportunities for it to enter my life.

Peace – I will continue to choose peace.